2008年 05月 25日 日曜日 11:11
And I won't pussy out like all you fag scene kids!
The World/Inferno Friendship Society: A bunch of really old drag queens who essentially capture everything gay about cabarets and punk music and somehow mesh the two into what could only be described as musical diarrhea, because the longer you listen to World/Inferno, the more disgusted and agitated you become.
Frank Zappa: You recorded every goddamn fart you ever expelled and expect us to buy a 3 disc set of it for 40+ dollars, and holy FUCK, people ACTUALLY DO IT. And to think that he supposedly stood AGAINST profiting off of stupid people!
The Residents: The epitome of "shit for the sake of shit" music. You actually expect your fans to buy CDs worth of music that you realized was so awful that you abandoned work on them? How has this band been around for 30+ years?
Butthole Surfers: They're called the Butthole Surfers. I honestly don't think I could possibly make them sound any worse than that.
Against Me!: On one hand they pioneered a style of music in which whiny, mallcore teens can scream out their innermost problems like how nobody understands them and how isolated they feel in a capitalist society with an acoustic guitar AND STILL FEEL PUNX AS FUCK, but on the other hand they now have a hit single on MTV that's about raping drunk chicks. Take your pick.
Okkervil River: Your singer has down's syndrome and his lyrics only go to reflect his undeveloped, retarded emotions.
Fleshies: I thought humanity was struggling enough to forget the huge number of mediocre California-based punk bands from the 80's without adding any new ones, thanks.
Sparks: You guys make Queen look like Manowar.
Firewater: You couldn't play noise rock worth a damn Todd Ashely, you don't need to try your hand at melodramatic showtunes as well.
The Crucifucks: Your lead singer honestly believes that he's the Messiah. You can't get any more pretentious and unbearably annoying than that.
Muse: There are so many things wrong with Muse that I'm honestly having trouble believing that they aren't a joke band made up of sewer-dwelling transvestites.
Melvins: Their music is as ugly as the guys playing it. And believe me, that's saying something.
Jandek: He made a career out of being anonymous then suddenly started playing live shows to reveal himself as a cocksucking sham. SELLOUT
Citizen Fish: Let's see. A bunch of washed up, old ex-punkers playing ska music with no rhythm whatsoever. Is it Madness all over again?
Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits: Is there any wonder you guys couldn't ever get a gig so you had to form your own shitty label just to release your stuff? YOU WROTE SONGS ABOUT FUCKING SQUIRRELS AND FUCKING LIVER, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Leftover Crack: As if your "ska punk" material wasn't bad enough, your new stuff sounds like you're looking to get signed by Fueled By Ramen.
Muslimgauze: Every album this guy has released is exactly the same. Pro-Palestine bullshit that sounds like rocks scraping together through a ham radio. I also just effectively described Wolf Eyes.
The GerogerigegegeYou released a 7" that's an old faggot shitting. You released another 7" that's a dance beat with you guys whacking off over it. And that's just their artistic part of their discography, too!
Rudimentary Peni: These guys are from England and who gives a shit? Honestly, people stopped caring about you after Death Church, why do you feel the need to populate the Earth with the same exact album every 5 years FOR 15 FUCKING BUCKS?